brown_shirt

I've not did much

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:02:34 GMT

I like to think of my self as uncorrupted.
Just try to be cool.

Currents

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:01:04 GMT

Another day finds rest
at the ends of cold keys.
On the living room wall
bleeding in hallways
& questioned at each covered window,
these conversing steps beam,
with frays and absent seams
to a tangling calm within a sea.
Weeds here wind with our limbs as we die.
we tire and accept our fate,
we float and watch the sky.
Clouds as white horses, move east.

Time to sleep.

And once worried heads rest,
they run dry their songs
and follow peace with distance.
In dreams there is no strain,
no covered windows to meet
or conversing steps to dim.
Hymns wander far as they ever had,
conceiving wild tears across the plains
and quiet in the valleys.
Some lay ashamed on their backs,
others fall to knee and beg god to stop.
and the children share gazes with the people they trust,
but eyes those have already wandered far ways.

Girl in a dress

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 05:34:08 GMT

Here come raveling around my head dreams of golden green, and dearly spoken hope, cool and low. i sit and wait for aeroplanes, about me are men lacking eyes and girls, ashamed and bothered reckless. and if the glass had lips, they would speak in tongues of morning light, and this time, reserved for looking forward and they would shake from there those infant lips the distractions of night. Engines scream for brightness to settle in hidden places and I slightly bow my head to show my sympathy. From the corner of my eye, there is floral like that of the fern occupied in ruin, printed upon cotton and draped over a body, deprived, journeyed, and as restless as an hour before sunny rain. This, i took as a service of Sunday as she approached and reached for to take my hand alike with hers, and in liquorice motions in her eyes and in the placement of her tilted head as to say "how do I seem?" and a moment comes between as I come to say, "as well as me." and all concern floated on the surface as delicately as a kiss for the sake of kindness and I'll never find a better place lest the tides of all the seas rebel and ask for our ears.

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 00:36:33 GMT

Two blues eyes on skies that're the same.
Below, one thousand changes.
I story, bare, to answer the meaning of life.
Eyes retreat for the here and now.
Mountains move us with time.
Spoke low, desperate, and true.
For the sake of the wise.
The struggle of learning to die.

Starry-eyed message received,
A night commits murder,
when taken in strides like these.
A day rarely remembers sleep.
A fight is unfinished, dirty eyes.

Review it.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 22:15:51 GMT

Yesterday, the lady on the LKLP bus told me that she was in love with me. I was sitting next to her, and I put my hand on hers, she started into what would be a 23 minute sob story about her divorce and how much I reminded her of her dead husband, the husband that she loved. It was a sad story, yeah, But all I could do was give her some love, so as we sat there stationary beside the highway, my hand moved to into her right thigh, her other hand left the wheel. But then the crying started again and she asked my age, I told her the truth, she couldn’t do it, I was disappointed in a way. What she did do for me is buy me a pack of cigarettes and take me to work.

The day before. . .I made it home from work. When I opened the door and put myself through the door, with the first step my eyes closed, and I saw two blue eyes, my vision got hazy, I covered my face and fell to the mattress in the floor, all I could do was try to cry myself to sleep. Even tears couldn’t replace dot, so I Put on my favorite album by The Cure and made it through the night. . .somehow

Tue, 08 May 2007 14:24:12 GMT

Patsy Cline has her own strip of highway
I got a spider bite
I lost the lottery
I'm a werewolf spider

And you all wonder why I like Bluegrass. . .

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:16:38 GMT

Over yonder stands little Maggie, with a dram glass in her hand.
She’s drinking away her troubles, and courting some other man
. Oh, how can I ever stand it to see them two blue eyes.
A shining in the moonlight like two diamonds in the sky.

Pretty flowers were made for blooming, pretty stars were made to shine.
Pretty women were made for loving; Little Maggie was made for mine.
Last time I saw my little Maggie, she was sitting on the banks of the sea.
with a forty-four strapped around her, and a banjo on her knee.

I’m going down to the station with my suitcase in my hand
. I’m a going to leave this country, and I’m a going to some far distant land.
Go away, go away little Maggie--- Go and do the best you can.
I’ll get me another woman; you can get you another man.

A song

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 23:57:08 GMT

I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're alseep
And kiss you when you start your day

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I

. . .and Ren sings "memories"

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 22:31:35 GMT

Here I am at the Laundromat again, I was really pissed off that I because I was going to have to choose between washing towel or my clothes, but I just said “fuck it” and put them in together, I think that I may have overloaded the machine though. Oops. . .

You know I only kill for decency, fillin up heaven with people who mean so much to me.

I am on a constant natural high now, the air is wild. I would say I sit outside 80 percent of the day now. Its my new home. Oh, my clothes need to dry now.

They have a free shoe box in the Laundromat, awesome. I am gonna check those out now. Ah, just a bunch of funky woman shoes. My natural high is now going to heighten, I can shower and dry off, and then put clean clothes on, wow, that’s a really nice thought.

You know, I think that this is the first entry in a pretty good while that I have really posted for no good reason at all.

This guy, he thinks the world is gonna end, I think he wants a reason to die. This girl, she doesn’t know what’s going on, she’s kinda SADisfied, and its so awkward, because they are around all the time.

The female guest next door is tripping on Ecstasy.

Matt is boring, he wont take me t the gas station. I have 9 dollars, well 6.50, because I got a a bottle of water and washed my clothes.

Jump my bones with an ATV.

Now,

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 11:21:26 GMT

Today, nothing much to say about that, I sat outside most of it and played on the internet and now, here it is 7 am and I am finally realizing yesterday's formal end. I just got back from my brothers long time friends house up the road, lots of MegaMan and Aerofighters are to be played on these visits, Adam is a swell fellow. Mountain Breeze was certainly thriving with motion and sound today, I was snagging wireless on the "back porch" and some little kidcame up to me and hung out a while, the weird people who want to be worked on their chevy trucks and cool, burnt out and revved their engines when they got the trucks to run for a little while. I like seeing it though, not because it is a bunch of rednecks exactly, but it just says something to me about progression. I can see a touch of light in the sky, the bluish kind that you see in the morning, the light that sometimes has to remind you that you have been awake to long or woke up at a decent time. I miss the sleep I got in school and waking up this early, I think. The outside looks so glum, I think it needs a hug, I'll ask Jessica to do that, she has school this morning. It is to late to write for me, and sleep is sounding pretty good right now, and my back is hurting right now, and I am quitting right now, now. Goodnight all, I will write more after I make friends with some shut eye.

I think the only memory I have of that was. . .

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 12:50:04 GMT

She was, as her name suggested , a grassy plain, somewhere in the back of my head, from far too many years past by; sunny hair, embarrassed eyes, and a funny smile (like a bunny). My memories of her were all in Summer, grinning, somewhere past the big rock, no clouds in the sky and plenty of sun being distributed to the liking of the trees and mountain, she would be that way forever, but it was so long ago, a memory of my being a child in freedom, 5 years old, she would only stay that way in my head.

I remember Summers without sad love stories, without a smiling face letting you know that dying is a reply. I don’t have anything besides these few images to remember her by, I remember the smile best, and now, the way a smile like that was once not so rare in the world, a loss will make things that much more complex. I just thought she deserved a kind thought, a moment of remembrance, a eulogy. She was pleasant and beautiful in my mind, a beacon of what made good entire Summers for a little boy, though I never got to know her as well as I should have, the recollection of her, as simple as it may be, means a lot to me now. Thank you and goodbye for now. I love you. Rest peacefully.

I am in Lexington right now with a nasty cough, an aching body, and knives still tumbling in my chest, I need to get over this sickness sometime soon, it ails me to the point that I should be inside, resting. I feel dirty, not in a way that the people who draw dicks and the number 69 would feel dirty, but like I need to stay in the shower brushing my teeth, I ignore that sometimes, plus, the water got cut off today for a little while, right in the middle of my shower. It takes a lot to make me choose a day inside over any degree of adventure, sickness is not enough.

There is a little boy, he is probably 4 years old, wearing a 50 cent shirt. . . That’s kinda sad. He is not listening to his mom, The way she talks in Spanish to her kids and they act like they don’t understand, I like it. The baby is drinking its bottle, and I think that the older one in the shirt, is kinda jealous. I wonder what those kids will be doing 15 years from now. . .

Daylight savings time is on Saturday, that’s a pretty nice event. The Today Show, is kind of disgusting me, these people are all laughing and slapping their desks because someone is making a ticking noise, they may be high, or just WAY to content with being a bunch of weirdos from New York. The guy sitting next to me in the waiting room of the hospital started up a conversation, that’s the first time that has happened in a while, it conjures a nice feeling inside, I guess it lets me know that people can still be cool. I need to strike up conversations with random people more often.

My head, it aches. I just downed a whole cup of coffee, that should help a little bit, this is the first time I have drank it in a while, I haven’t done A LOT of things in a while, yeah, I could draw you a thousand pictures and animate them, that would sum up the highlights of a week for me. Once this sickness passes, things will be better. I came to an important realization, Tinker Bell is my girlfriend, she is really hard to read sometimes though. I am gonna start posting the letters I write to people and things no one probably accepts are real. I do a lot of stuff to keep me occupied, I just don’t like posting on live journal because somewhere in the shuffle of the internet, meanings get contorted and people tend to misread your feelings, like, the other night, I was talking to Kaiti and she asked if I was being sarcastic, I know what she means, I think people are sarcastic all of the time when I talk to them on the internet, If I have ever offended you it was probably either a miscommunication or misinterpretation.

I took to much time on the last paragraph, that’s gay. If you have read all of this, that’s pretty cool. But the truth is, Its probably only worth the introduction and skimming you gave it all.

I miss each of you like I miss my passed on animals friends.
I love you all like the man beside me loves his sons life.
I will see you all when the planets align.
I will kiss you foreheads and give you all a hug.
I may die, this could be my legacy, pass it on, if I pass on soon.
When I die, join forces.
Write my eulogy.
Keep me in mind.

Love,
Tommy

These are just my feelings for tonight.

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:26:38 GMT

I started to watch Peter Pan last night, I fell asleep before it finished. I don't remember how the movie end, its okay because I inspired me to write a letter to Wendy which was interesting, and in a way, fulfilling to some part of me. The season is ending soon, I am have some questions for the closure of Winter and the infancy of Spring, we all have them, and we realize, at the new season, a glimpse of their answers, and those answers devise our ambitions for summer, at least thats the way I see things working through observations of MySpace. My resolutions come from something like a week long walk, and fighting whoever may need a fist (Thank you GG) and seeing those 7 days full of something new. My memorys are a million miles away, but vivid and meaningful, like, I think this is what it feels like to be old, it makes my feet cold, I would like more than anything to find the tapes I listened to when I was so little, or relive anything from my past that felt good, I used to be a good kid, I sang about the angels walking with me and my dog, I feel like the light of my youth is dimming, I hate the feeling. I dont live with my mom and dad anymore, its strange how I just up and left, they visit once in a while and then someone dear to me asked me what my "postion" was, Its hard to answer. . . in the middle, or somewhere near the end, here and there? Thats something i need to be able to answer soon, a question for better and warmer time. Simon and Garfunkel, you probably dont like them, have made a reasonable end credits for this day, they remind me of "when". Something really odd has been hapening everytime I speak to someone new in person, my breath is lmost completely taken away. It sounds odd huh? I dont know what makes it happen, I love meeting people, its just one of those things that you just Dont know how to answer too. I have a picture that sums up some of my feelings. I want to ride a bike again, I want to sit up on a hill and not worry about anything, and write my crappy poetry, and go to sleep on time, and wake up early, have squirt gun fights and pretend wars with my cousins who would all still come in to visit, And so many other things, forever. Is the theatre really dead? This is all I really feel like saying right now. . .

ValenTIMES.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 10:16:40 GMT

Valentines day, how dumb. Or is it just me? Yeah, the bed took up most of it, I woke up and no one is home, No surprise. I think I am gonna just go ahead and jump out of the window or something, I have been listening to dear neal ever since I woke up at four. My mind is like that of a kitten today. I feel dumb as hell right now. So dont expect anything special in this post, no philosophy tonight, Just rage inspired by boredom assumed to words. This would be one of the bad days that mountain breeze hands out like cheap stickers. I havent seen the snow let up all day long, Dance your hearts out, all you school going kids, everyone with a steady life. I dont know what my life is, a wavepool and when I find something that i remember being consistent at the crests, i reference it, and to myself I transmit a nice "what the fuck happened" and a fistful of "hmm" and persistence. Bloody hell, my teeth grit. Fucking shit, my toes are numb, my neck hurts from nodding at the silence. oh dear, when am I going to see something other than the still theatre that is Mountain Breeze, why do I only go out at night, so no one annoying will confront me I suppose, or maybe mother nature finds more entertainment in seeing me trying to figure out the entire world and herself beyond midnight. I dont remember the last time i saw a face i wanted dearly to see, i'll hold the forest and the trees close until that time comes. i swear, I would hug a tree for all the things they have taught me, two rees in particula, my tree troll that died (RIP) and the one at the graveyard I frequented as a lad before I started growing, all I need is something my eyes havent seen a thousand times, something that they wont get bored of, and get frustrated by, i would love to have the appreciation I did for the mountains a few years back, when I learned from the trees and the sunset. maybe I am just staying low becaus ethe winter, it teased me sooo bad, before this storm, the breeze, my god, the recollection. . . the comfort and hope, inspiration for tears looking out the window now. I dont wanna talk to much about that, depressing stuff. This pllace is cruel and my mind is not coming back as that moving air seemed to promise.

yeah yeah yeah.
For the first time I want time to speed up for a moment. i am stuck. I just want some convulsions in the floor, and possibly something to make me sleep for longer than a night. I dont really know. I still love the world, its just so damn lonely here. I dont know if anyone is even alive anymore sometimes, Like everyon eis dead, and I am the only one left. I am going for a walk in the snow, fuck it. Ill shed a tear for you all on the way.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 05:30:36 GMT

I made it a number of miles today, to Wal-Mart, So many happy people so many awkward glance. I snagged a notebook and 2 pens. My time should be better spent, maybe I am going to send some letters out, one to the president for sure, National Geographic Magazine inspired me. The one thing that bothers me about National Geographic is how you can be in total awe of the beauty of the landscape they photographed and then you turn the page to see and emancipated Nigerian village with black smoke hanging over it, a warning would be nice.
I need so much, mobility and daydreams, I sometimes wonder if things like this make the world better or worse, but that’s me, always indecisive.
So, Winter is starting to be less annoying , I just learned to bear the cold and enjoy the season, with a little help from God.
Sleep, the time I have no skill in. It still comes late but is too long, I wake up and stay in the bed, in a hazy kind of semi sleep in which I still dream. It seems days may be better spent like this. All it really is anymore is waiting for something, anything really to happen. When the weather changes, I will never sleep, if I do, it’ll be on the ground. Last night I slept okay, Jessica stayed on the phone until I thought I was tired enough to sleep. She can come sleep with me in real life though if she wants too it would be much better I do believe.
But I am kinda feeling mentally crappy right now, Maybe Ill post again later. And my parents keep asking me pointless questions like do you want a snickers bar, then I say no and its 30 more questions wanting to know exactly why I don’t want a snickers bar, Il let them go to sleep and post again if Matt doesn’t come.

LAundromat

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:38:03 GMT

So, I’m sitting here in the Laundromat. It’s 2 and is now Sunday. Ha, outside the window I can see the bug thing I played on when I was a little kid, I liked it here then. This one time I ate some dirt to be like the other kids, it was so nasty, and I cried about it. I saw some lady who was friends with my oldest brother and sister, and all she had to say about me when I was little was that I could eat a whole block of cream cheese. Pretty impressive huh? When I moved here (Mountain Breeze, it’s the projects of Jenkins, we live here for nothing because no body wants to work.)I thought the only decent people around were the little kids, that was until I was rollerblading and two of them tried to trip me with a broken pool stick. I quit and kinda rolled over to them so I could talk to them, all they had to say was that I was a girl because I had ponytail. I talked to them, for a bit and tried to reason with them and play the wise old man bit. But I think that they had imbedded in there head the ideas of their parents, fuck that. Adults always have to screw things up for the little ones. When I was a kid I learned everything from my brother, He was there to tell me to shut up and stuff, and to scare the living shit out of me at some points. Once when I was 7 he got me to eat the petals of a small purple flower in my grandmas front yard, afterward we were in the woods and he told me that I was going to die in 10 minutes. What did I do? I rode my bike as fast as I could and cried. In truth that’s the equivalent of what anyone could do if they were on the verge of death. Right now, the clothes are drying, I learned how to wash clothes tonight, I should have learned a long time ago. My parents have been trying to get me to move back in with them these past few days, I just cant do it though. I am glad to come and stay a few nights with them once in a while but there are to many reasons why I shouldn’t stay there. I am only sixteen, this makes me wish I could stay there, but, its just too many bad memories to stay. , I know its going to be another late night, I can feel it. I would do anything to sleep but anything wont do much of nothing. Two more minutes and the clothes will be dried and I can head back home.

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 11:50:01 GMT

Every day is weathering more of my conscious away. Its hard to look at the same mountainside everyday, the same walls, the same existence, no variety in any place. I keep hoping that change will come soon, but it doesnt look as if it will happen the way i want it to. I want the Winter to pass in a way, I dont have enough clothes for this season or something, I just know its getting to be unbearable this time around. I dont know the difference between day and night anymore, the same things take place no matter the position of the sun, the only things that lets me know time is passing is the calander, the clock and the brightness of the blinds. I feel as if time should be at a halt, as if no time has passed throughout the past few months, yet, I look at the date and realize sometimes that thats not whats happening.

I got my permit to drive yesterday, i dont feel any different. Why cant I go ahead and drive, they are just teasing me with this shitty little peice of plastic, I dont want to wait, im to eagar to enjoy life again.

I wonder what I am going to find out once I leave mountain breeze, I never fully appreciate a place until I am stuck there for at least two years or I leave it. When I lived with my mom and dad I found so many great places to sit and think, thanks to Summers and springs. The graveyard above me was where a lot of my time was spent, I could take a pad of paper and write such nice things about what i couldsee looking out from there. And now I am in a placewhere everyone shares a wall, yet they dont care who the fuck they are sharing it with. i hope I dont get a sour revaltion from living here.

I have been thinking about how it was for me at shows, and how it is now, and how it was before I even came. Why is it that people dont want to go now? so man faces are missing in the crowd at these local shows and no new faces seem to be arising and staying. Are people getting bored with it all? I believe that there is a need for the acts that are just different again, like Clang Quartet, that man was insane. and all the people who played acoustic guitars behind synth or just an acoustic alone. What happened to Smokey Lonesome and Dear Neal , Arbus, all those great noises. What caused SCIJ to be no more? Is originality dead, can anything new rise out from the ashes? I am starting feel great worry and disappointment in the music scene now, it scares me. People are too caught up in being cool that they cant make room for appreciation or creation. I have dreams, I wnat them to come true. I want people to be interested again, and to Really take interest in the music around here. I know that it is getting hard for me to have faith in it anymore, it has been a while since I have been to a show in which I could leave happy., and I want to be able to do that every show. I dont know if anybody really cares all that much anymore, but I plan on trying to improve things and make for a more open, enjoyable and productive way for the kids to get together with music.

I need to find someone to play music with, badly/

I have to go take teh GED test at 8 am and here it is 7am , god fucking damn guys god ducking famn.

Basis- Sleep

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 21:32:31 GMT

This post is like 3 eons long, I wont be mad if you dont read it.

I just woke up and its 4 pm. I am really getting frustrated with trying to sleep. It is the same thing every single night. My eyes want to be open and in the back of my head is this low hum of unorganized thoughts that run in circles and keep me awake. I remember when I could meditate, I was capable of erasing entire physical world from my conscious, but that could never happen now. I suppose repression might be the cause, lets just hope that the hum in the back of my head doesnt turn into an uproar and I turn into a mental case. I always found it helpful to just brush things off and forget them, but in reality this isnt a good idea. So I am, again, glad that only a few people might read this, and that they are not assholes with large mouths. I am weighing out the possibilities now, I wonder whether I should try some kind of prescription sleep aid, or if all the thoughts just need to run around for a bit to get organized and tired, or maybe I just need more sensory input, you know? I may need to read more, the weather may be the purpose I lose sleep, I can get out and take walks like I do in he Summer, Spring and Fall. I am a child of the sun you see, I need the outdoors, and the only way I can have it in winter is through the windows of a car or if I bundle my self up and someone wants to go with me, I can't take winter walks alone, I just wait for the warm days, and those days seem to be losing interest in the winter now. I really do love walks, i even wrote an entire personal narrative about a walk I took in the woods. I would felt like everyone was sure I was a pothead or a hippie or something, they all had wrote theirs about going to the beach or disney land or something, But I never had those things when i was little. my vacations were sitting inside watching cartoons, bumming peoples swimming pools, playing with my cousins who vacationed her from Detroit and I just stayed put right here in the hills, I think that may be why i feel I know what they are about so well.

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 08:29:06 GMT

Was reading all night. i read something really interesting about fate, it was compared to the chaos caused when you throw a rock into a pond, and fate was the balance that the water trys to achieve. I mean, I don't know if that makes sense to anyone at all, but its, you know a thought. what if everything was already determined before it even unfolded. so many things would be irrelevent, like mistakes or accidents and even the significance of any given thing. I don't believe all this but, I do acknowledge the possibility. Just like I debate the fact taht faerys exist or that the matter we are made up of is the product of energy produced by being in subsequent dimensions. I sometimes sound a bit crazy, but its all in good fun and it makes my brain, uh, think gooder. You all should really think about getting on the TV someday so I can watch you all from the comfort of my trailor in a soft recliner drinking a cheap beer.

You arent real are you, tell the truth.

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 03:06:44 GMT

When I woke up today I was positive it was still the night before. I went to my brothers house and boysat my little nephew, He wanted to fight alot and I was really tired, so we just watched cartoons for about 5 hours until my mom and his got back. I got to eat Long John Silvers, which made me feel awkward in the stomach area. Well we left from there and I decided to stay the night with my mom and dad so i could use the phone and all that junk. I talked with some lady for a while, then mom used the phone and i couldn't get ahold of her. so exciting, these tennage years in Kentucky are. I sometimes wish that everything could be dreamed up, and then made real starting from the conclusion of puberty, so that we did'nt have to wonder whether things would be better if they were all intricate delusions thought up drooling from a rocking chair by a window. I want to go.

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 23:56:22 GMT

Our homes, settled in mountain valleys like the dust of mountains shattered into money. Yet, we sometimes question the breaking of the current in this wilderness, because in it lies our fears , our hopes and what we have become, but in staying here what is to be gained? Harmony with the fate the same as our relatives past or discovering that the terms of placing ourselves somewhere foreign is not to heavy a burden for our heart before we can even leave. We can get away from what they call “this place” or capture it and stay indebted to the consciousness of Appalachia. The philosophy of a Kentuckian. . . where there heart wants them, something kept them here, something behind poverty and more than hope. A person can drive for hours and only have tired feet and others a new place to rest. Something we cannot we pack in our 3 piece luggage, and as we drive can we go on about the philosophy of the towns and small cities passing. Leaving an impression on a highway we never knew, to make footing in soil we know can be more rich. No matter where the road takes us, the world is the same in this single way, our nature is to search without result and to have faith that there is something in this world, or somewhere, that is perfect, and this is a reason that we are no more significant to this world than the oxygen we breath in, or the insects on the soles of our shoes. What is it that we are looking for exactly? A home without harsh seasons to pass us by, where our age will never change for the worse, and nights never seem to end. When we get there, I dream that we will adhere to the fabric of time and matter and the many other measurements of the infinite and a moment will never progress, only in boxes beneath our beds. I know what Kentucky is about, I have etched, somewhere on my brain, the thoughts of this this region has. So in leaving, I do what is the equivalent of praying or meditation, turning the page on an over edited work of an idealist, to write more and learn the trade of relating 2 broad realities made of fact and opinion to amass them as one. Its like going stir-crazy to be in the comfort of these hills too long. Kentucky.

Today

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 18:16:49 GMT

I cant believe it, I have been reborn! I woke up inside of a pillowcase this morning and I tore my way through it. . . I was covered in placenta yet, I was stil clothed. so, I got up and my dad was at the end of my bed tellling me to wake up. I had only got a few hours of sleep but, I had been reborn this morning, I was'nt really all that concerned with getting anymore sleep. SO we got in someones van and rode here, I had a great urge to geton this computer and in an almost instinctive manner i typed in the address and pass words to these places on the internet. strange huh.

I am thinking that this may be the rapture you guys, and If you guys can intercept communication from wherever I am, then somekind of melding of dimensions has occured. And all I can really say is "well buddy".

And thats all

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 13:28:24 GMT

shadow restricted to innocent eyes,
here justice finds a home, dead men shake their heads
lips supply delusion to the air, curses to a man they call free.
our home , a sliding slope to the fate of thousands
What is appropriate?, and how do I abide otherwise.
Sky shines light atop smog,
and remains ignorant to the decline of a nation
as if I said I would let you go,
while a prison replaces the setting sun
Prison of blue and white, flooded with drying ink

I am the Anti-Pope!!!

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 20:58:19 GMT

today was my first day of work at Stateline Foodmart. The shift I work is really bad, from 12:00am to 8:00am, great fun. I have to mop the whole store including the kitchen/deli and bathrooms and take out the nasty-arse garbage from them. i stock the beer coolers and shelves, making six packs out of those stupid little ring holders that kill dolphins. i had to sweep the whole outside of the store ,and then when one of the more important people got there i was put to more work just because I was finished with everything else. i guess it was worth the 43 dollars i made, it feels good to have money for a change:) when I got home i was tired as shit, and Matt says I will probably be doing this (with the same shift) 6 days a week!!! that sucks pretty bad. I am going to be bumming so many rides it isnt even funny. Hopefully I can still go to Hillbilly days ,even if it is for a little while?:(? i didnt get to sleep until 11:30am but I am pretty well rested now, I will need more sleep before I go back, thats for sure.

Peace of candy
Tommy

:( x 97826397

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 17:32:12 GMT

Today was my pre-expulsion hearing, It was horrible to say the least. I went in thinking I could maybe get my point across and change there minds about all of this crap, I was let down and the descent was unbearable. If they get what they want I wont be back in school until next year, And they usually get what they want. I feel lik ei don't have any control over my fate, at this rate I will be working a the dollar store for the rest of my life. I left with a 3 trillion pound weight bearing dow on me. I was in a really fun program dealing with movie making and such , that is fucked up now. I was going to go to Summer school and get my dumbass back to where i am suposed to be, thats not possible. Everything i had planned was just destroyed by a group of what I like to call mini-Hitlers. I cant wait until Jenkins is drove into the ground in all aspects, financial, social, industrial, its on its way. what a great birthday present. At least I will be getting some letters and pictures in the mail soon...:). How am I going to get past this? I have one more chance, thats against the board of education, they are the ones who makes a final decision. Well, I didnt sleep much and had to wake up early, I guess I am gonna get some rest.

I'm back.

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 05:00:58 GMT

Wow, I havent even looked at this in what seems like years, nobody ever read it except about 2 people, thank you. Darm it is cold! Now I can put my pitiful thoughts out in the open again and look at the response:). alot has happened since I made this. I moved in with my sister, am now facing expulsion, and started playing music seriously with some of my friends among other things. Now all I have to do is add some new friends on here.